I told you the holidays would wipe me out! I'm back after three. Long. Months. Barely...
The stress I am under lately is incredible. Its almost as if there is someone else who endures this thing called my life during the day and even at night. It can't possibly be me, the strong and structured mommy of three beautiful children who depend on my every. waking. move. I am not really this out of control, am I?
I've checked in with a few of my dear and trusted friends, its official, I am.
So today when I crawled out the door with my usual headache in beautiful 80 degree weather to drop the kids off, I perked up a bit when I realized I was getting my hair done. I don't know what spending 3 hours in a salon chair really does for my well-being, but I am definitely feeling better.
9 am, sitting in the chair that waits for me every couple of months, I start to morph...into me. Before long I am laughing again. I am feeling the tension drift off my shoulders and my face begins to get that stuck feeling because I am laughing so hard. We share stories about the drama in our lives. We both have crazy lives just different crazy lives- and it is actually funny. It is funny how she relates to her children, and it is easy to relate to the daily crap that creeps into life.
I realize my days though overwhelming and filled with total disorganization aren't the most important thing in the world. There are other things going on around me besides what happens in my little world. My sweet Grandma needing help finding a home seems manageable. My children's projects will get completed on time. My husband and I will straighten this mess of a life out sooner or later. The car will be fixed and the house cleaned. The faucet will get unclogged. My children will be FINE. I will be FINE.
Even if I only believe this for three hours, it is enough of a break for my tired and fuzzy brain. I can now think about dinner, homework, and carpooling and actually not want to throw a nap in the middle of it all.
Like I said, TODAY I don't need a nap. Maybe I can have more days like this one- I might just have to start creating them for myself.
I am going to... one day at a time. I hope. Some things I can change, others I can't. I'll start with the smallest things I can and go from there.
Housekeeper comes tomorrow!!